Pieces of My Heart

Cayle and I haven't posted in too long! When we first returned to Ohio, we hit the ground running with Caylan's wedding and catching up with friends and family and sharing about our last year at supporting churches. We have been back in the States for 6 months – 4 months since we realized we were back to stay, but at times it seems it’s only been weeks. Many days it seems we’ve settled into a routine, homeschooling, activities, etc. Some days it seems life will never be quite “normal” again. I hear or see something that triggers memories and they flood my mind. I’ll be honest and tell you I miss so many people- kids, staff/ministry partners, even the mango lady. J I miss the rain, the dust, the temperatures! I miss fufu and egusi, jollof, fried rice Fridays, Friday night movies with little ones snuggling/squirming/falling asleep on my lap, kids dancing in worship on Sunday morning. Some days I find myself blinking back tears because I miss so much…but even in the midst of the missing, I am reminded how blessed I am. God allowed us to live in another country, experience another culture, give our hearts & love to incredibly special people and places, be a part of what He is doing with some amazing kids. I know that though my heart hurts, it means I have loved and been loved. I have left pieces of my heart in many places we’ve traveled: Tennessee, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Colorado, Mexico, Ghana…the list could go on. I love the beauty of God’s creation, I love the diversity of His children. My soul is forever touched by the places I’ve been and by those whose paths have intersected mine. Some have left scars that may hurt from time to time, but most are beauty marks that have left me better for the loving. I’m not sure to whom I should correctly attribute this quote, but it has never been more true for me than now:

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”

Those who have left footprints on my heart, whom I have met through many different means, live all over, not just this country or Ghana, but really the world. I am so thankful for technology!  I read a story today that reminded me that our hearts are even more beautiful for the scars.  You can read it here if you’d like: http://epistle.us/inspiration/apieceofmyheart.html

It’s acceptable, even preferred, that I will never, ever be the same. I hope I don’t return to a life of routine, of forgetting all that God has shown me. I pray that I am continually watchful of God moments when He allows the lives of others to intersect mine so that through it all He is glorified.

 I thank my God every time I remember you. Philipians 1:3 

Dawn

Coming to America ;-)

In less than 24 hours we will be going through security at the airport. I can't believe the time has gone by so quickly! Tomorrow will be a day filled with excitement, knowing soon we'll be back in the states and seeing family and friends. It will also be full of emotions about leaving, leaving friends here and leaving "our kids" here at CORM & at the school. Already today many of the kids have been asking if we're coming back and how long we'll be gone. I know many of the kids don't really understand the concept of time. Eight weeks seems like forever to them. 

I know the coming weeks will be filled with wedding excitement and special time with family & friends, but please be praying that we find some time to rest. Pray for quick adjustment, not only to time & temperature differences, but also to cultural differences. We're leaving a culture where many kids we know may only eat one meal a day, where most people don't own much beyond the basic necessities to a culture saturated with excess & choices. Although we don't want to go back to that type of mindset, after spending a year here, coming back to the US will take a little time for adjustment. 

Thanks so much for your prayers! We look forward to catching up with many of you soon!!

God Bless!!

Cayle & Dawn

A Saturday Stroll

Today Cayle and I walked to the junction, like we do most Saturdays. The junction is a place a little over a mile away with a couple small "stores" and a couple fruit/vegetable stands. However, today it was a bit more of an adventure! We have had rain and downpours four days this week, which has left our path muddy. Some spots were so muddy, we may have been better off taking our sandals off and going barefoot! By the time we reached the junction, we had mud splattered all the way up to our knees. 

Cayle is always watching for new things along the way: bugs, plants, anything. On our way we found a beautiful bright red bug and of course, we had to get a picture. On our way back we also found something we hadn't seen yet. I sometimes jump when I hear something that sounds big moving in the grass and had just had one of those moments about 20 feet before Cayle yelled, "Stop, stop, stop!" I had been looking for solid places to step and thought he had seen something beside us and was looking around. He had actually seen something about  30 ft. ahead of us right on the path. At first, he thought it was a big branch, but quickly realized it was a snake. As it slithered off into the grass, he tells me that he can't believe I didn't see it and follows its path into the grass to get a closer look...until it raised up and expanded its hood. My heart about stopped. Praising God for protection, that Cayle was looking ahead and saw it and that He protected Cayle in the midst of his curiosity. Cayle looked it up when we were back and the type of cobra we saw usually "spits" venom aiming for the eyes from up to 8 foot away. Even though it was too close for comfort, I'm still amazed by God's creation!

My heart was still pounding 15 minutes later, but it made me think. Think about how many times we're meandering down a familiar path and going about our "routine", but aren't aware of what is going on around us, whether that's danger or opportunities. I am sure next Saturday if I walk to the junction, I will be constantly watching for snakes. I pray this week I will also be more aware of opportunities around me or right in my path.

Dawn

Hollow Philosophies

I have been teaching in a class we've called "World Religions" for the upper multi-level kids. It's a high school level class that is actually more about specific world views, rather than defined "religions". Our goal has been to help the kids understand other views, in order to stand against them and to solidify their own Biblical worldview. It's been a challenge for a couple of the Ghanaians in the class, since they have not had near the exposure to alternative views like the American missionary kids have had. 

In America, especially in higher education and the scientific fields, or even Hollywood and the arts, people are exposed to all kinds of world views. In fact, we are even expected to accept and embrace a variety of beliefs if we don't want to offend anyone. In our class, we have talked about Deism, Atheism, Naturalism, Nihilism, Existentialism, as well as Christian Theism. That's a lot of "ism"s, but it's been eye opening, even for me. I won't bore you by trying to explain each of these, but there is an extremely important lesson I want to point out to you.

As I've been reading through the book we are using for the class, many of these different views are often referred to as philosophies. For many people who do not know God, their search for meaning can end in any one of these philosophies, especially those which, on the surface, appear to make sense. In the midst of my studies, a passage from Colossians came to mind, and I think it speaks for itself, as a warning to those of us who have heard the truth of the Word of God.      

"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ."

          Colossians 2:8(ESV)

Another version uses the phrase, "fine sounding arguments", but the word philosophies caught my attention. The apostle Paul knew that there was going to be those who would oppose a Biblical based world view with a view of their own, founded on human understanding. Some of those views are simply ridiculous, and few people would fall for them. However, some of them sound rational, and appeal to peoples' sense of logic and human understanding... but they fail to acknowledge God and put Him in his proper place, and some views disregard Jesus all together.

Paul says BE CAREFUL!! Don't be deceived by a philosophy that simply sounds good. Trust the Word of God as truth, and seek Him.

Jesus said,  “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."

Many times, those "empty philosophies" are easy to believe and follow, but they lead to destruction. But there is a way that leads to LIFE!! 

Jesus is the way, the TRUTH, and the life!

Cayle

The Malaria Monster and Other Year End Thoughts

    Well, the year has come to an end, and, at least for me, I'm not really too sad to see it go. But please let me explain my feelings. God has done some amazing things in my life and the life of my family this year. The calling to move to Africa as missionaries became a reality and so many miraculous things happened for that to be possible. Our oldest daughter got engaged to an awesome guy this fall and we are so excited for that. There has been a lot of ups and downs, and it's been difficult, but good. In some ways, I could say it's been one of the greatest years of my life, but I'm still happy to say good riddance. I'm ready to start fresh, and here is why.

    This last month has been crushing. Going into Thanksgiving, we as a family were excited, but knew we were coming up on a difficult time. Holidays away from home are always difficult, but this was a first for us. Dawn or I had never been away from our families for Thanksgiving or Christmas. We made it through Thanksgiving, and even had a very American dinner, and it was good, but I missed everyone at home, and they missed us. 

    Then it happened. Just a couple days later, I contracted Malaria.  (Dr. Sell, I can already hear your rebuke, and I bow my head in shame!) We had stopped taking our daily anti- malarial a few months ago. No one here takes it, saying they would rather treat the symptoms when they show, instead of taking a daily antibiotic. I understand there are some legitimate concerns with that as well, and several others have been here three or four years and not had any real issues, so we decided to do the same. Symptoms happened fast. I went to church feeling fine, and came home 2 hours later with almost 104 degree fever. Later that day, I started treatment with one of the several drugs available here for malaria. The next three or four days were terrible. In addition to the fever, body aches, intense headache and the worst nausea feeling I've ever had, the medicine apparently didn't agree with me and caused my skin to itch, and made my mind feel as if I was watching a continuous movie on fast forward. I couldn't lay still or relax enough to sleep. It's the sickest I had ever been, or so I thought. Finally, I felt better and regained some strength, in time for Dawn and I to make a weekend getaway to a beach for some rest.

    Then, the Saturday before Christmas, the beast returned. I've done a lot of reading on the issue since the first time, and I'm convinced that this was a recurring infection from the first one. The medicine had apparently stopped it, but not killed it, so to speak. The problem was this time, the symptoms started a bit different. Lower fever at first, and my head didn't hurt quite as bad. There had been several of the kids have some stomach issues and fever here at CORM, and one of the other missionary families here had been dealing with a virus that was causing similar symptoms and days of continuous fever. They had been tested for malaria, and the tests were negative, so I assumed that I had what they were dealing with. I didn't want to take the malaria meds again anyway after the skin itching & mental kaleidoscope issues, so we just tried to treat symptoms. 

     And the symptoms got worse...so the day before Christmas I got a blood test that confirmed without a doubt it was malaria. I started a different medication that thankfully didn't have the itchy side effect, but I spent Christmas Day in bed, barely able to move. By Thursday I was so weak I couldn't get out of bed on my own, and when we were supposed to call home that night to talk with Caylan and the rest of my family, I was so weak I couldn't even talk to them. Talk about an exciting way to celebrate Christmas! To make things worse, Carissa had been showing similar signs, and we tested her, and she had malaria also. She took the same meds as I did, but neither of us responded very quickly. This past Sunday, neither of us was any better, and were both showing signs of jaundice as well, so on Monday at 6:30 a.m. Johnbull took us to a private hospital in Tema to have more tests done. I was hoping to get some better meds and get sent home, but after the tests they said both Carissa and I needed to be admitted. As much as I didn't want to stay and experience Ghana healthcare, I knew it was what we needed to do when I had to stop three steps from the top of a flight of stairs because I was too weak to go on. Yep... I surrender... white flag time. So we spent the night at the hospital, connected to I.V.s and getting shots. After two liters of fluids and three shots of something and a bunch of pills, I think I'm out of the woods. Carissa is much better too. We have some meds to continue, and with some rest we should recover fine. (And Doc Sell, we are resuming our Doxy regiment immediately!) 

    So I tell you all this for a few reasons. First, if you've never had malaria, this gives you a good idea of the fun times it can provide! Second, because of malaria, the first authentic Ghanaian clothes I got to wear was a hospital gown. I haven't gotten a traditional shirt made yet. And thirdly, there is more to this story. This isn't just about me getting sick.

    I believe that God is doing something in the midst of all this struggle and sickness. From a purely pragmatic view, this was the worst Christmas in my 46 years. Completely missing all my family, about half of the little things we had asked to be sent to us for Christmas never made it, and I was so sick I couldn't even enjoy the food and celebration we had here at CORM. I've had ten straight days of sleepless nights, but that means I've had time to pray and meditate on God and what he is doing, and why. I've argued, whined, questioned and pleaded with Him. And I've listened to Him. I've learned some things through this, but it's a bit to soon for me to be talking about that yet. I also believe that Satan has been in the middle of this mess, too. There's just something about the timing, the holidays and emotions, and the things that have been pitted against us as a family here that make me believe there is a big battle going on. Yet somehow in the middle of all this God has said the fight, the struggle, will be worth it. I'll admit, this past month I've questioned if it's all worth it, more than once. Being on your back feeling like you just want to die can do that. I'll be sharing more soon on what I think God is teaching me and where he is leading, but for now, let me offer this:

    Trust Jesus in whatever you are struggling through. Believe me, I know that can be way easier to say than do, but if He can give me the faith and strength to face and overcome these battles, he can surely do the same for you in yours. Christmas is a time where the day not only celebrates Christ's birth, but also stands as a reminder for us to anxiously await his return as well. There is a promise In that. He is Immanuel, God is with us, and His grace IS enough. I thank God for his healing grace today. 

    Yeah, I'm ready to be done with this year, and anxiously looking forward to what God will do, and how He will use the struggles and  lessons in the new year to come. I pray there are good things ahead here, and for you as well. Thanks to all who knew of our situation and were praying. I am so grateful!

Cayle