Well, the year has come to an end, and, at least for me, I'm not really too sad to see it go. But please let me explain my feelings. God has done some amazing things in my life and the life of my family this year. The calling to move to Africa as missionaries became a reality and so many miraculous things happened for that to be possible. Our oldest daughter got engaged to an awesome guy this fall and we are so excited for that. There has been a lot of ups and downs, and it's been difficult, but good. In some ways, I could say it's been one of the greatest years of my life, but I'm still happy to say good riddance. I'm ready to start fresh, and here is why.
This last month has been crushing. Going into Thanksgiving, we as a family were excited, but knew we were coming up on a difficult time. Holidays away from home are always difficult, but this was a first for us. Dawn or I had never been away from our families for Thanksgiving or Christmas. We made it through Thanksgiving, and even had a very American dinner, and it was good, but I missed everyone at home, and they missed us.
Then it happened. Just a couple days later, I contracted Malaria. (Dr. Sell, I can already hear your rebuke, and I bow my head in shame!) We had stopped taking our daily anti- malarial a few months ago. No one here takes it, saying they would rather treat the symptoms when they show, instead of taking a daily antibiotic. I understand there are some legitimate concerns with that as well, and several others have been here three or four years and not had any real issues, so we decided to do the same. Symptoms happened fast. I went to church feeling fine, and came home 2 hours later with almost 104 degree fever. Later that day, I started treatment with one of the several drugs available here for malaria. The next three or four days were terrible. In addition to the fever, body aches, intense headache and the worst nausea feeling I've ever had, the medicine apparently didn't agree with me and caused my skin to itch, and made my mind feel as if I was watching a continuous movie on fast forward. I couldn't lay still or relax enough to sleep. It's the sickest I had ever been, or so I thought. Finally, I felt better and regained some strength, in time for Dawn and I to make a weekend getaway to a beach for some rest.
Then, the Saturday before Christmas, the beast returned. I've done a lot of reading on the issue since the first time, and I'm convinced that this was a recurring infection from the first one. The medicine had apparently stopped it, but not killed it, so to speak. The problem was this time, the symptoms started a bit different. Lower fever at first, and my head didn't hurt quite as bad. There had been several of the kids have some stomach issues and fever here at CORM, and one of the other missionary families here had been dealing with a virus that was causing similar symptoms and days of continuous fever. They had been tested for malaria, and the tests were negative, so I assumed that I had what they were dealing with. I didn't want to take the malaria meds again anyway after the skin itching & mental kaleidoscope issues, so we just tried to treat symptoms.
And the symptoms got worse...so the day before Christmas I got a blood test that confirmed without a doubt it was malaria. I started a different medication that thankfully didn't have the itchy side effect, but I spent Christmas Day in bed, barely able to move. By Thursday I was so weak I couldn't get out of bed on my own, and when we were supposed to call home that night to talk with Caylan and the rest of my family, I was so weak I couldn't even talk to them. Talk about an exciting way to celebrate Christmas! To make things worse, Carissa had been showing similar signs, and we tested her, and she had malaria also. She took the same meds as I did, but neither of us responded very quickly. This past Sunday, neither of us was any better, and were both showing signs of jaundice as well, so on Monday at 6:30 a.m. Johnbull took us to a private hospital in Tema to have more tests done. I was hoping to get some better meds and get sent home, but after the tests they said both Carissa and I needed to be admitted. As much as I didn't want to stay and experience Ghana healthcare, I knew it was what we needed to do when I had to stop three steps from the top of a flight of stairs because I was too weak to go on. Yep... I surrender... white flag time. So we spent the night at the hospital, connected to I.V.s and getting shots. After two liters of fluids and three shots of something and a bunch of pills, I think I'm out of the woods. Carissa is much better too. We have some meds to continue, and with some rest we should recover fine. (And Doc Sell, we are resuming our Doxy regiment immediately!)
So I tell you all this for a few reasons. First, if you've never had malaria, this gives you a good idea of the fun times it can provide! Second, because of malaria, the first authentic Ghanaian clothes I got to wear was a hospital gown. I haven't gotten a traditional shirt made yet. And thirdly, there is more to this story. This isn't just about me getting sick.
I believe that God is doing something in the midst of all this struggle and sickness. From a purely pragmatic view, this was the worst Christmas in my 46 years. Completely missing all my family, about half of the little things we had asked to be sent to us for Christmas never made it, and I was so sick I couldn't even enjoy the food and celebration we had here at CORM. I've had ten straight days of sleepless nights, but that means I've had time to pray and meditate on God and what he is doing, and why. I've argued, whined, questioned and pleaded with Him. And I've listened to Him. I've learned some things through this, but it's a bit to soon for me to be talking about that yet. I also believe that Satan has been in the middle of this mess, too. There's just something about the timing, the holidays and emotions, and the things that have been pitted against us as a family here that make me believe there is a big battle going on. Yet somehow in the middle of all this God has said the fight, the struggle, will be worth it. I'll admit, this past month I've questioned if it's all worth it, more than once. Being on your back feeling like you just want to die can do that. I'll be sharing more soon on what I think God is teaching me and where he is leading, but for now, let me offer this:
Trust Jesus in whatever you are struggling through. Believe me, I know that can be way easier to say than do, but if He can give me the faith and strength to face and overcome these battles, he can surely do the same for you in yours. Christmas is a time where the day not only celebrates Christ's birth, but also stands as a reminder for us to anxiously await his return as well. There is a promise In that. He is Immanuel, God is with us, and His grace IS enough. I thank God for his healing grace today.
Yeah, I'm ready to be done with this year, and anxiously looking forward to what God will do, and how He will use the struggles and lessons in the new year to come. I pray there are good things ahead here, and for you as well. Thanks to all who knew of our situation and were praying. I am so grateful!
Cayle
