The Comparison Game

So this is the blog that I intended to write when I started the last one and got detoured!  

Once again, I find myself amazed by how God remains faithful to us even when it may seem  that He's not paying attention. I've prayed on more than one occasion that God would show me a deeper sense of purpose here. And its actually been through this process of blogging and sharing my thoughts and experiences that God has answered and given me a greater awareness of the impact I can make on people through my ministry here, and with this blog. I have been amazed to find that people actually read this!! So I continue to share my story...my life, with you.

Something that I have learned on this journey is that regardless of how or where you minister, its easy to get caught in one of many traps. Traps that Satan uses to trip us up and get us off our game. The last blog was sharing one of those traps- the trap of getting caught up in the good things we do, only to allow them to become ultimate things that take the place of God in our lives...uh, yeah,...thats idolatry. 

So here is another trap we face.

Getting caught in the snare of comparisons. Comparing our abilities with someone else's. Comparing our knowledge with someone else's. Comparing our gifting, or the way we pray, or the way we worship...it can go on and on. I have seen in my own ministry to others how destructive this can be. 

We all want to measure up. Everyone likes to be praised, or get affirmation from others. Even when we are unselfishly trying to serve, we still want to know we are doing well. But quite often in life, we evaluate our effectiveness or success by making comparisons with others. In ministry, I believe this is one of the most dangerous traps the enemy can use against us.

There are probably more, but I think there are two basic issues that will attack us when we compare ourselves to others, and if we allow them to gain a foothold, they will crush us. The first is what happens when we compare ourselves with others who we believe don't do quite as well as we do. We think,"I'm doing better than them, so I must be pretty good". We begin to believe that our value and effectiveness comes from our superior abilities. It then becomes easier and easier for us to point out other peoples shortcomings, so that we feel better about ourselves. The result is someone who is puffed up with pride and arrogance, and we know how that can affect a ministry.  It becomes all about numbers and outdoing someone else, or having the newest, cutting edge ideas. And sooner or later, it goes from "look what God did" to "look what I did".  As God gets shuffled to the back seat, Satan grins and does a fist pump. We have probably all seen this happen... maybe even to us.

The second attack comes from the opposite side. And, as I have always tried to be very transparent with my own struggles when I write this stuff, this is the one I have a difficult time with. This attack comes when we compare our abilities with those who we perceive to be better than us. If I had to guess, there are many of you who struggle just as I do, with this same thing. Maybe you sing or play music, and when you hear someone better, you feel inadequate.  Maybe as a pastor or leader, you see another ministry growing faster, so you feel discouraged. In our personal walks with Jesus we look around and see people that seem to pray better, know scripture better or worship more freely and we feel like maybe we are not quite good enough. And here is quite often our response. 

         We try harder to be someone we think God will be more happy with. 

         And after a little while we burn out and find that we don't feel any better about who we are, and begin to doubt our effectiveness. We begin to doubt our calling. Maybe we even begin to doubt our faith. And so we withdraw, drop out, give up and throw in the towel...

because of a comparison...

The wrong comparison. Making this kind of comparison causes us to try to be someone we are not. We try to measure up to standards that we may never be able to match, and we end up trying to be someone different than who God created us to be. 

Our standard of comparison should not be other people, but Jesus. The cool part about that comparison is that He made it really simple for us. The standard is just so high, Nobody can measure up to Him, so its not a competition! But here is the amazing thing about his grace. He created us and shaped us with a purpose. 

        Psalm 139 tells us that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made". 

        We like to throw that verse around a lot, but I don't think we always believe it. It means that God actually had a plan when he created us! He created us with specific gifts and qualities that He wants us to use in our calling, and he doesn't want us to try to be someone else. That wont make Him love you more.

So I have been working on using the gifts that God has given me, and staying true to who I am created to be. I'm not trying to be someone I'm not equipped to be. And I have found that its much easier to be who I am, instead of someone I'm not. That is exhausting! God has called me and my family here because we have unique gifts and abilities that He wants to use for His glory. We are all pieces in Gods puzzle, and every piece has its place. If one of those pieces is trying to occupy a space it wasn't made for, the picture wont be complete!

So how about you? Has the comparison game hindered your calling? Has it hurt relationships? Caused you to feel inadequate and ineffective? How about getting back to who God made you to be, and fix our eyes on Jesus, not the person next to us?

Cayle