I found that after I started writing this post, I needed to go back and rewrite this opening, because the main point shifted from my original thought. I started out writing about the various traps we may be susceptible to in the midst of our ministry calling, and what I thought was just going to be a side-bar became the main idea. I seem to be continually learning about what it means to be on mission, and how to live out my calling. It is definitely an ongoing process.
This will be aimed more towards married folk, but one of the things I've learned is that while God may have given me a specific calling here in Ghana, that calling did not discontinue or supersede the calling I have as a husband and a father. In those relationships, I am bound by covenants that are modeled for us in Gods covenants with His people, and we know that God does not break his promises. So He would not call me to something that would cause me to forsake the very covenants that He established. God called me to be a husband and father long before he called me to Ghana, so while I can work very hard at this new calling, I cannot do it at the expense of my family. And this can be complicated and hard. Believe me-I know. For Dawn and I, leaving our families and Caylan, our oldest daughter, was no easy thing. I think this is exactly why Paul wrote the following in 1 Corinthians 7. (my comment in parenthesis.)
"Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. (Single, with no children!) But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another." 1 Corinthians 7:6-7
Now while I understand that Paul is talking about physical desires in the context of marriage vs. singleness, I believe he is also saying something else that may not be very popular, but its true. In a ministry context, marriage complicates things. Having a family requires certain commitments that must be balanced along with our ministry. Paul is not saying those things are bad. He even says "this is not a command...its just some wise advice" He is saying that if you are single, and God calls you to ministry, you can "go and be" with a much greater freedom. He recognizes that while marriage and family don't excuse us from our callings or make ministry impossible, they do require being committed to things that could make ministry callings more complicated. He is in no way saying we should ignore those responsibilities. And listen... This isn't just a foreign missions thing. This issue can trap anyone, single or married, in any kind of ministry, which includes every believer, since we are all called to some kind of ministry...wherever we are.
I'm aware that in addition to being on mission to the people here in Ghana, my calling to love my wife as Christ loved the church, to be the best dad I can and raise my daughters up to be Godly women, is no less important here than when we were at home in the states.
It's really easy to get caught up in the work of ministry, and be so busy doing good that we neglect those we love. It's easy to get burned out doing good, especially when we are trying to run on the fuel of our own human effort. We will burn up all our own fuel. And then what happens when Dawn needs me to be her husband, or the girls need me to be their dad, and I'm empty? The answer is that my ministry will suffer, and my relationships will suffer.
So here is what I have learned. First, it is Jesus who says "Come to me, all who are weary, for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light". He is saying "Let me fuel you... Stop trying to do it all on your own." And second, we occasionally need to slow down and recharge. Spend time building our own relationship with Jesus. Spend time with our family. Husbands and wives, spend some time with each other! And that is what Dawn and I are planning. In a few weeks, we are going to take a couple days off and get away, for the good of our relationship, our relationship with our Heavenly Father, and our relationship with our family.
What about you? Are you trying to run on empty? Maybe you need to recharge as well...for the good of your marriage or family...and your relationship with Jesus.
Something to think about...
Cayle
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